Sound familiar?

Health Effects of Too Much Work

If you overcommit yourself at work, you probably do it in other areas of your life, too. Overcommitment can leave you with little energy reserves for things like self-care or sleep. As you become more run down, your body will kick into overdrive by producing more stress hormones, giving you the needed energy to cope with the immediate stress. However, this can leave you suffering from the proverbial “crash and burn” syndrome, both mentally and physically.

When your body is in a constantly heightened state, you might struggle to sleep, experience more pain or emotional challenges, or even have fertility issues. Too much stress can leave you fighting headaches, fatigue, anxiety, and depression. When you’re not feeling your best, you’re likely not performing your best either, which can take a toll on your creativity and productivity.

It might be time to slow down your “yes” — you know, that knee-jerk reaction many of us have to take on a new client or work overtime without question, just to keep all of the balls flying high in the air. The idea of saying no might make you queasy, so here’s a guide to get you started: 4 guiding questions to help you understand if what you’re committing to is truly worth your time. If you can’t give positive answers to any or all of these questions, then it’s time say no.

1) Does it align with your mission?

The first step to knowing when to say ‘no’ is to create a mission for yourself or your business. You might feel a little odd when writing out a personal mission statement. However, one simple, succinct statement can provide clarity to the projects and clients that set your soul on fire. These are the commitments you want to agree to every time the opportunity is laid on your desk or shows up in your inbox. Once you have a mission statement, passing on opportunities that don’t align with your mission becomes much simpler.

2) Is your ‘yes’ fear-based?

Fear comes in many packages. It might be the fear of failure, being fired, or being stuck where you are right now.

No matter what the fear is — it’s time to face it and learn to control it. Saying yes too many commitments out of fear will lead to job burnout and dissatisfaction.

Before you say yes, write down the pros and cons of taking on this new project. This can help to shake out the real reasons you’re saying yes, and help you to see the positive and negative effects of your decision.

Oh, and don’t be wooed by money. This can be hard — especially if you’re just starting out as a freelancer or new business owner, because the fear of not paying your bills can be very real. Just remember there’s a lot more to your long-term career goals than what this one project will pay.

3) How much time will this take?

If a new project double-books every time slot you have for the week, you can bet that it will leave you feeling the emotional and physical effects of overcommitment. Take a serious look at your schedule to see if you can move work around before saying yes. Or, if the new project is a dream client or project, consider dropping a client that no longer fits your work or financial needs. This can be a difficult decision to make, but giving yourself permission to say no is powerfully freeing. You only have a limited amount of time; strategize accordingly.

4) Can I say ‘yes’ and then delegate to the team?

If the new project doesn’t hit all of the criteria spot-on but is still worthy work, consider delegating to others on your team. You might even have a rockstar colleague that you could refer the job to, creating a win-win situation all around. This is a great way to say yes — while actually saying no and protecting yourself and your time in the process.

As women, we are always looking for ways to build into other women, and this could be one of those times. Your overcommitment could be someone else’s dream gig, so if this project isn’t for you — share it with a worthy peer.

Any ‘yes’ you give should be given intentionally, with thoughtfulness. Not because you were too scared or rushed to say no! So take some time and slow down your yes — use these questions to add some clarity to your decision.

The post 4 Questions to Slow Down Your ‘Yes’ appeared first on HER Magazine ™.

While the data shows that women aren’t paid as well as men, there is of course also significant evidence that demonstrates the powerful contributions of women in the workplace and economy. In fact, without women in the workforce, it’s estimated that the U.S. economy would be worth $2 billion less than it is today.

According to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, progress towards closing the gender wage gap has slowed in recent years. If the pace continues, experts estimate that it will take until 2059 for wage disparity between men and women to disappear — which, I think we can all agree, is far too long.

Tackling the Issue

The January issue of People showcased 21 female celebrities who are speaking out about the importance of equal pay. This elite list included real-life stories from Ellen Pompeo, Beyoncé, and Carli Lloyd — but they’re not the only ones.

Wage disparity is capturing the attention of organizations as well as celebrities, and some are even making efforts to equip women to break through the gap. Levo, a network for millennials in the workplace, recently started the movement #ask4more, with the tagline, “You don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.” Organizations like Equal Pay Today support the national Equal Pay Day each year, to further raise awareness of gender pay inequalities.  

But it’s also important to ask yourself: what can you do — both to increase your own pay and make a difference in the workplace at large? What can you do to level the “paying” field in your industry?

Start here. We’ve got a few ways you can get the salary you want — and help other women along the way.

Ask for What You Want

It’s long been thought that men are better at negotiating the terms of job offers than women. One study, published by Harvard Kennedy School, found this anecdotal information to be pretty accurate. The researchers studied nearly 2,500 job seekers and found that women are less likely to apply for a job that is listed as having a “negotiable” salary in the advertisement compared to men. Women are leaving money on the table — without ever asking for it.

If you’re considering negotiating for your next salary, make sure it’s a job where negotiation is possible. Some jobs, such as entry-level positions, union jobs, and government or civil service vacancies might not be eligible for talks. But if it is? Ask! Don’t be shy.

If you receive a job offer, request time to consider the proposed wage — and then do your research. Visit sites like Glassdoor or Payscale to compare salaries for similar jobs. If you know anyone who works at the company, ask them about the pay. It might seem taboo to talk money, but if you don’t talk about it, you’re going to miss out. You might also be able to talk to the hiring manager about the position and see if they can speak to human resources or upper management to raise the salary.

Never shy away from asking for what you want. That’s how salaries grow.

Support a Higher Minimum Wage

It’s important to understand how minimum wage affects the gender pay gap. The National Women’s Law Center reports that raising the minimum wage will directly impact female workers at the bottom of the spectrum, which is where the most significant gap remains. Women fill almost two-thirds of minimum wage jobs in the U.S., and women of color are over-represented in this sector. Raising the federal minimum wage might not impact you directly — but it may affect your daughters, friends, or other fellow women.

Empower Other Women

Many employers discourage conversations about salary. The problem is, without open discussions about pay, the progress towards closing the gender pay gap moves far too slowly.

Don’t be afraid to initiate these discussions and encourage others along the way. These conversations can be uncomfortable — be sure to go deeper than basic salary, and discuss things like length of service, job descriptions, and general standing with the boss. If asking about specific numbers seems too hard, start by speaking in broad terms about your own pay. This can help to open the lines of communication with other women.

Remember: You’re Not An Impostor

Have you ever felt like you don’t belong in your career? Or that colleagues will discover that you’re a fraud, and you don’t deserve to be where you are? A study published in the Journal of Behavioral Science reported that some high achieving women believe they are frauds — despite objective evidence of success.

If you relate to this, you’re absolutely not alone. But how can we overcome that feeling? One of the best ways to stop impostor syndrome in its tracks is to simply recognize it when it happens. Call it out. “I’m feeling like a fraud — but I know that’s not true.”

If you still feel yourself worrying about not deserving a raise or promotion, ask yourself one question: “Are these feelings doing more harm than good?” If the answer is that you’re creating more problems for yourself, take a minute to regroup. How can you change your perspective? Staying in a positive mindset about money, salary, bonuses, and raises will help you ward off impostor syndrome the next time it comes around. If you don’t think you’re worth more, it’s likely others won’t believe it either.

But believe me, girl, you are worth it.

Lead the Way

Imagine one day, you’re feeling scared about asking for a raise — but then you hear from a trusted colleague that she already did so. She requested a raise, and received even more than she originally wanted! Would you still be scared? Maybe a little, but most likely this knowledge would lessen your fears and give you a little jolt of courage. We’re always more bold when we see up close what’s possible. This is true in reverse, too. When you act, others will follow. Your boldness could empower another woman down the line — so even if you feel to nervous to do it for yourself, try to do it for her.

Are you ready to level the paying field in your industry? It’s going to be a marathon, not a sprint, but it’s possible — and it better happen well before 2059. The next time you’re faced with a gender pay gap issue, take a breath. Remember all of the women who have gone before you, hold your head high — and fight to level the paying field.

The post 5 Strategies Every Woman Can Use to Level the “Paying Field” appeared first on HER Magazine ™.

Who do you turn to for money advice? Sometimes, turning to a friend, parent, or other family member is helpful. But other times, you need someone who can provide guidance without the potential for judgment or unwanted advice. You also need someone who has been in your shoes, who has expertise, and who can connect with where you’re at in life.

That’s what we’re always looking for, too — so we’ve put together a list you won’t want to miss. If you’re looking for financial guidance and an engaging presence to connect with, these incredible women are some of the best. Take a look at these top female personal finance bloggers, and follow along to take control of your personal finances.

1. Paula Pant, Afford Anything

Paula realized that having a 9-to-5 job wasn’t for her, so she saved money and traveled to Egypt for a few years. When she returned home, she realized that just financial freedom wasn’t enough — she longed for financial independence. To achieve it, she dove into the real estate investing industry. Today, she’s the owner of Afford Anything, a blog and podcast where she shares her life and financial advice with over 50,000 followers.

Her blog is for you if: You’re smart, different, and unconventional.

Her financial advice: You can afford anything, but not everything — and that’s true not only for your money, but also your time, focus, energy, and attention.

2. Melanie Lockert, Dear Debt

Melanie went to work in arts administration right out of college in 2006. She attended NYU for graduate school in 2010, and worked three jobs to make ends meet while paying for tuition. After graduation, she struggled to find a job using her advanced degree and decided to turn to financial bloggers for help. After that, she managed to pay off $68k of student loan debt in just four and a half years! The inspiration she found on other blogs inspired her to start her own blog, Dear Debt. Today, she is a freelance writer, speaker, editor, and coach.

Her blog is for you if: You’re interested in finding a side hustle to help your bottom line.

Her financial advice: For all those people who are mired in debt like I am, don’t be ashamed. It’s part of your story. Your journey. Your legacy. Your triumph. It’s okay that we’re not perfect. It’s okay to be human and make mistakes. It makes you more real.

3. Sandy Smith, Yes I Am Cheap

Sandy writes, speaks, and kicks financial debt to the curb! In 2008 she had over $121K of debt and repaid $50K of it in just two years. Then, she increased her personal income by $25K in 3 years. Today, she wants to help you. On her website, you’ll find her blog, courses, and a few freebies that might give you the personal finance guidance you need.

Her blog is for you if: You want to slay debt and/or your credit scores are low, and you need help raising them.

Her financial advice: I learned everything that I could to speed my debt repayment up as quickly as possible and shared what I learned along the way.

4. LaTisha Styles, Creating Coins

Creating Coins isn’t just a blog. It’s a community. LaTisha is a millennial personal finance expert and has a social following of over 40k people just like you. She graduated from college during the recession and had very few job opportunities. So, she did what every entrepreneurial spirit dreams of doing: she created her own career.

She paid off debt and now teaches other women how to do just that. On her website, you’ll find short videos, free training courses, and a blog filled with tips on how to start your very own entrepreneurial journey.

Her blog is for you if: You want to turn your ideas into income.

Her financial advice: Growth means you will face new challenges. Be ready.

5. Natalie Bacon, Natalie Bacon Blog

Natalie Bacon went from lawyer to financial planner to success coach and entrepreneur, and turned her six-figure debt into a six-figure business. She focuses on personal development and designing her dream life, and teaching other women how to do the same. While you’re checking out her account, take a look at the courses and other tools, tip sheets, and worksheets she’s created to help you ditch debt.

Her blog is for you if: You love making dream boards and want to take those designs to the next level.

Her financial advice: I’m a big believer in getting around people doing what you want to be doing and taking advice from people who have the results in their life that you want in yours.

6. Michelle Schroeder-Gardner, Making Sense of Cents

Jump over to Making Sense of Cents to learn Michelle’s practical advice for earning, saving, and living more. Her blog tells the story of how she paid off $38K of debt in just 7 months and took to the road in an RV to explore North America — and now she lives on a sailboat! This woman knows all about being a professional AND living life to the fullest. Her site gives advice on blogging, landing the perfect side job, and paying off debt.

Her blog is for you if: You’re interested in affiliate blogging.

Her financial advice: Budgets are essential to keep you mindful of your income and expenses.

7. Amanda Abella, Amanda Abella Blog

Working as a full-time personal finance writer, online business coach, and millennial money expert keeps Amanda Abella busy. She’s passionate about helping you build and grow your online business and personal finances. She strives to empower other women to get their financial life together — which is precisely what she did in 2010. You can read her blog or book, or sign up for coaching on her site.

Her blog is for you if: You hate the idea of being frugal. 

Her financial advice: My philosophy is to find ways to save, invest, and buy that hot pair of shoes you love!

8. Tess Wicks, Wander Wealthy

Wander Wealthy is packed with blogs, videos, podcast episodes, and freebies that will help you feel secure about your financial future. Tess Wicks is a financial coach and content creator dedicated to assisting women to stop the panic over finances and spend unapologetically. She also focuses on travel, and how to make your money work for YOU — rather than getting chained to the expectations of your money.

Her blog is for you if: You’ve got a serious case of wanderlust.

Her financial advice: I teach women and millennials how to live a more fulfilling life by using their money as a tool to make more money, live on less, buy their freedom, and gain the confidence and independence they need to live radiantly.

9. Lauren Bowling, Financial Best Life

Are you ready to think “outside the box” when it comes to your money? If you nodded your head — Financial Best Life is the blog to follow. Owner Lauren Bowling has been blogging about life and money since 2012. She will help you learn how to pay off debt, travel on a budget, and start making money on your blog.

Her blog is for you if: You’re interested in earning money with a blog. Once you pay off debt, you can move to the next section of her site — how to start a $100,000 blog!

Her financial advice: Let’s stop talking about what a drag money can be; instead let’s brainstorm ways to be strategic, so we never have to let money problems hold us back from the things we want to do, the places we want to go, or the things we want to create.

10. Emma Johnson, Wealthy Single Mommy

There are millions of single moms running families and businesses all over the United States. If you’re one of these inspiring women, be sure to check out Emma Johnson’s blog Wealthy Single Mommy. You can find more about her journey, book, podcast, and Facebook group on her site, and you won’t be disappointed. Johnson focuses on building community, and even gives away $1000 every month to a single mom who is working hard to build a positive life for herself, family, and the world.

Her blog is for you if: You’re a single momma — and looking for a community of like-minded women.

Her financial advice: There is no substitute for being totally financially independent — from your ex, from your parents, from anyone.

It takes education, inspiration, and community to really build your own financial freedom — and these amazing bloggers can provide all three. Did we miss any of your faves? Let us know in the comments!

The post 10 Personal Finance Lady Bloggers to Follow appeared first on HER Magazine ™.

Oh, your biggest competitor has posted a new image on Instagram! She just announced that she had hit 200,000 followers and her latest class is full. You read her post, watch her story, and look at the cost of her course.

All the while, the laptop goes to sleep due to inactivity.

Your mind is racing. What could you do better? Why do you not have 200K followers yet? You know it’s time to get to work. But, you better check one more person before you start the day.

You quietly whisper in your head, half-jokingly, “What’s wrong with me?”

In today’s busy, ultra-competitive, social media driven society, it feels normal to compare yourself to everyone else out there. This hyper-sensitive feeling has a name: Fear of Missing Out, or FOMO.

Problem is, FOMO could be seriously holding you back in your career.

The Psychology Behind FOMO

FOMO started as a social phenomenon, described by Oxford Dictionary as “Anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website.” It’s almost exclusively triggered by social media posts, and professionally it can stem from the idea that someone else has their career figured out before you.

Anita Sanz, Clinical Psychologist, explains the psychology behind FOMO as related to tribalism. We are social creatures who need to be part of something bigger than ourselves, she says. We need to have a tribe. In past civilizations, being part of a tribe equated to survival.

As we have progressed to modern day conveniences, we no longer need to know where to find our next meal. Our access to news and social media has advanced to a constant stream of images and information about others; these images trigger psychological responses in our brains.

The part of our brain known as the amygdala processes emotions. The amygdala is involved in both feelings of fear and reward. If you suffer from FOMO, the amygdala senses that you are being left out.

These feelings that your business or professional self are not part of the “in-crowd” can trigger your fight-or-flight responses. One study found a direct relationship between the time you spend on social media and feelings of FOMO. It also discovered that FOMO is connected to depressive symptoms, mindful attention, and physical symptoms that last well past the time you actually spend on social media.

So how do you know if you suffer from FOMO?

3 Questions to Gauge Your Level of Business FOMO

1) Do you feel jealous when looking at other social media accounts?

Think about that one competitor out there whose Instagram account looks like a glamorous magazine ad. The colors are perfect. The images bring creativity and design, and the text tells a story that even makes you wonder if you should buy her product.

This feeling is entrepreneurial envy, and it could be damaging your business.

2) Do you feel obligated to share all of your good times on social media?

Another part of FOMO is the desire to match your competitors in a reactionary way. If you look at social media and then immediately feel the need to match your competitor’s posts, stories, or pictures in direct response, without intentional strategy, you may have FOMO.

3) Does turning off the alerts make you anxious?

If shutting down the barrage of social media notifications causes you physical stress, you may be suffering from business FOMO. Yes, you need to keep a finger on the pulse of your competitors, but you certainly don’t need to know every move they make as soon as they make it.

How do you overcome FOMO in your career?

1) Slow Down

Being a successful businesswoman is hard. The stress of everyday life and making business decisions can have you running from dawn to dusk. Adding in the extra-sensitivity to what others are doing will burn the candle at both ends even faster.

Create a schedule that provides time to disconnect. Make a conscious decision to do less. Choose your top three tasks that must be done each day, and let the rest wait until tomorrow. When you are well-rested and grounded in mindful practices, you can better handle the images you see on social media.

2) Remember the grass isn’t always greener

Susie may look amazing in her new business suit at her promotion dinner, but she doesn’t have it all together, either. She has fears, failures, and frustrations. Keep in mind that social media images show a one-dimensional view of someone’s three-dimensional life — it’s a highlight reel, not a behind-the-scenes exclusive.

3) Be present

It’s easy to lose focus of your goals when you compare yourself to others.

Should you disconnect completely? Just like all decisions in your life, there are pros and cons. Being engaged to your tribe may be a necessity to your business or career. You may not be able to shut down entirely.

Here are a few easy ways to be present in the moment:

• Turn the alerts off while you work.
• Use an app that blocks distracting social media feeds like Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter for a certain amount of time.
• Put the phone in a drawer while you work. Check it a few times each day to make sure all is well at home.
• Let your financials speak for themselves. If you are happy with the amount of money you make in your career, business, or side hustle — quit comparing yourself to others.

FOMO is real. It can cause you to succumb to feelings of anxiety, depression, and physical symptoms. Spending energy in comparisons can cause you to miss out on opportunities. Believe in yourself. Detach from fear and comparisons. Don’t let FOMO ruin your chances of career success.

The post Is FOMO Hurting Your Career? 3 Ways To Protect Yourself appeared first on HER Magazine ™.

Writing those words is a bit difficult. I’ve often wondered if I would ever be able to share this publicly. Well, here we are! Welcome to the meeting.

It may seem a bit extreme to compare ‘working too much’ to other addictions, like drugs and alcohol. But I know firsthand how extreme this addiction is — and it is extreme.

Working too much has always been a struggle for me. I like jobs that I can take work home. I used to consider myself a restless soul; now I realize it is an addiction to work.

But when I started working from home a little over a year ago, the urge to work became stronger. I no longer had the hard stop that was implied by the cleaning lady turning off the lights in a community office setting.

It’s A Disease

Did you know that workaholism is a disease? Although it’s not technically recognized as a psychiatric diagnosis, it can unfortunately take years before some diseases are formally recognized — even when they are life altering. But even if it’s not official, many professionals treat it like a disease, because they recognize that that’s exactly what it is.

Workaholism is a syndrome of dependence that can increase your risk of depression and anxiety. According to Brad Klontz, Psy.D, it may have been passed down from your parents. You work as a way to cope with emotional discomfort or inadequacy. You experience adrenaline rushes when binging on work. And, just like other addicts, you crash after the high.

Are You a Workaholic?

Every addict remembers when the addiction started.

It was 1999. I worked in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit as a staff nurse. I would go home after night-shift, only to wake up and with the urge to call the unit and check on my babies. I started feeling that no one could care for them the way I could. Silly, right?

Believe it or not, this should have been my first sign that I had a problem.

Researchers from the University of Bergen’s Psychosocial Science Department identified a list of characteristics of workaholics, known as the ‘work addiction scale.’

Here are the seven criteria to help you determine your level of work addiction:

• You think of how you can free up more time for work.
• You spend more time working than you intended.
• Working decreases feelings of guilt, anxiety, helplessness, and/or depression.
• Others have told you to decrease how much you work, but you don’t listen.
• You become stressed if you can’t work.
• You de-prioritize hobbies, leisure activities, and exercise because of work.
• Work has negatively impacted your health.

If you answered “often” or “always” to any of these statements, you might be a workaholic.

4 Ways to Quiet the Work Addiction

I often feel that work is calling my name. No, I don’t hear voices, but I do have constant thoughts about work. Even when I should be relaxing, like lying in bed at night or trying to enjoy time with my family, my mind often wanders back to work topics.

Here are a few strategies that help me control the urge to work too much:

Set Office Hours with Breaks

This one is probably the hardest. I am a constant “one more thing” kind of girl. But I am working hard to keep set office hours.

Granted, they are long hours — typically 10 a day. I have found that allowing myself to work a bit longer each day helps to quiet the urge to work later at night.

I also take three 30 minute breaks each day. I try to get outside during these times, whether I’m walking my dogs or just sitting on the porch. The sunshine and ability to disconnect helps. During these breaks, I don’t look at tech. In fact, I leave my phone in the office so that I have to unplug.

Find an Accountability Partner

For me, this is my husband and a close friend. Admittedly, I don’t always listen to their wise words, but when one of them tells me that it’s time to close up shop or take a half-day off, I do listen. It helps me to gauge the obsession.

Pomodoro Technique

As a workaholic, I don’t only crave work. I want production too. The Pomodoro Technique helps with productivity. It uses a simple kitchen timer (or app) to create periods of work, coupled with periods of rest and physical activity. You work for 25 minutes, then get up and take a 5-minute break.

It may seem counter intuitive, but it works to keep you focused on one task at a time.

Hard Reset

You may think of this practice as something for electronics only. But think about it: your body’s mechanical, too. So when you need to reset the crossed messages your brain gives you about work, engaging in a few intentional hours or even days with zero work is essential.

I have found that when I disconnect from work, I enjoy life, family time, and even intimacy a little bit more.

I am far from being free from working too much. But with intentional practices like the ones above, I have been able to quiet the giant Workaholic within — I hope you can, too.

The post Are You A Workaholic? How To Know — And How To Kick The Habit appeared first on HER Magazine ™.